Life After Baby (ies)

3/19/2013


When I became a new mom I had this underlying, and very real fear that my old life was gone forever. I was completely over-ridden with every single emotion on the planet and I remember sitting on the couch at one point with screaming little Mila in my arms. I was dressed in the same clothes I'd been wearing for three days, covered in burpie clothes and smelling of baby poop and breast milk and I thought, "I won't ever be able to leave my house again to get a cup of Starbucks." And then I broke into tears.

Newborn life was a really rough go for me. It was like the culture shock of visiting a new country, where no one speaks your language and there is new food and new smells and you're getting lost at every turn in the road. The only difference was that I was in my own house.

Matt and I openly wondered when we'd be able to sit down and eat dinner together, when we could venture out of the house to see our friends, to walk the dog. As it turns out it wasn't very long at all...a blip in life's little radar. But it was intense. As we gear up for another round of newborn shenanigans I am braced for tough times, for less alone time than I have now, for more juggling of duties, for many nights of standing and eating. But I know that this stage will come and go out of my life, and when I look back, it will likely be a blur. And perhaps a more apt description would be a "beautiful, blurry mess." Because that's what having little ones is like a lot of time: Crazy, busy, frustrating and yet absolutely awesome all at the same time.

And when you do have the chance, slip out for a walk, for a cup of tea or to share a little glass of sweet Moscato with a good friend who is going through the exact same thing. It works wonders.


14 comments:

Katie @ Team Skelley said...

I remember remarking to my husband one day when we were out that I dreaded going back to our house because it was never-ending crying and feeding and sleeplessness and stress. My oldest Cooper had silent reflux and was not very happy for his first few months. When Little Alexa came along, it was so much easier because everything was not new and scary anymore. Plus, she was a chill baby, as most second children are. I promise you, Alexa, it will be so much easier this time around!

Mad Max and Family said...

I hope it goes easier on you! I'm juggling two - two year old and an almost (EEP) 5 month old.

My first baby (all babies are different) was definitely an "easy" baby... and my lil girl is more challenging, but I'm also much more relaxed about things.

It's so hard though! Former life..juggling babies, yourself, your husband, your work, etc. I'm still trying to figure it out all.

-Tara

http://madmaxandfamily.blogspot.com

love jenny xoxo said...

definitely good to know!!! It's going to be such a huge change!!!

{love jenny xoxo}

Leslie said...

This is a beautiful post. I can only imagine how difficult it is to me a new mother. Certainly, a brave new world each time you bring a new little one into this world.

Andee Layne said...

we are talking about trying for another one but I'm just not there yet! Love this post and can COMPLETELY relate! Love they way you put it...it will be a blur soon enough and is completely worth it ;) At least this time around you know more of what to expect! Im booking marking this and will share it with my readers as well! xo

Stephanie said...

This is definitely the one thing I fear the most about having kids: losing the things I love about my life now. I know it won't be as dramatic as that and I know there will be countless rewards, too, but it's still scary nonetheless. Thanks for sharing this. :)

birdie to be said...

Very honest post.. I feel like I will be the same way one day. Its so hard to know. Thanks for opening up about it. Xo

Camille DiPaola said...

Oh goodness....yes! I felt the EXACT same way- scared, almost frozen....feeling as if life would never be the same. I remember crying when I saw people walking past our apartment b/c I felt as if I'd never be "free" again. It was only a blurb though :). I guess I acted a bit dramatically. Lol. It is such an intense time though! Life has changed dramatically, but yah...you do get time out, etc. it's just different! Cheers. Happy I read this.

angie said...

It's so nice to read a refreshingly honest post on motherhood. It's also nice to know that it gets easier too...I'll remember this post one day when I have a screaming baby in my arms!

christine, just bella said...

AMEN! So, so true. And you appreciate that cup of starbucks so much more! It's crazy, it's tiring, but it's amazing all at the same time.

Elizabeth @ The Little Black Door said...

An excellent post. I remember those days. My mom would keep reminding me, 'this won't last for long' and that would always help! :)

Sarah said...

All us moms have been there at one point or another. I remember feeling that way with both kids and when they both his around 6-ish months, life started to get lovely again. =)

Brigette Olmos-Arreola said...

What a beautiful honest post!

Laicie said...

Love this post -- thank you for being so honest! I have a stepson, but no babies of my own yet, and I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm a little afraid! It's good to hear that even though it's hard, it gets better and it's worth it. :)